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Next week is a big week, a week that is finally ending a long, drawn out, and painful political circus that will determine the next President of the United States.
As my Daddy would say, “If I were willing to bet a nickel…” next week is just another chapter in this messy book. Not the end.
We are likely moving from one chapter to the next, to what will surely be a bit (or more) of an emotionally draining experience for all of us, regardless of the outcome. As with all times when we are preparing for a difficult experience, let’s remember this question: What about you? How can you show up as well as possible at this moment? How can your inclusive values guide you?
For your organization, your team: What is your role in the proverbial turning of the page?
In speaking with people managers and leaders over the past weeks, some of the most common responses include:
I have posted office hours for people to just drop by and talk if they want.
We are prioritizing physical safety in preparation for protests.
We have scheduled a time for employees to gather and have coffee/tea and conversation. Some of our team members who recently completed the Facilitation Skills Institute are going to facilitate, but without a specific end goal. We just want to create space and ensure people can contribute and the conversation doesn't make anyone feel unsafe.
We have identified an alternate route into our building for employees and customers in case protests prevent easy or comfortable entry.
Create Space
Just sending a message that you are available isn’t the same as creating space. Creating space includes design and structure, allowing people to know what kind of space they are being invited into, what they can expect, and how they are expected to contribute to the space. Be clear about the parameters of the space you are creating. It is not meant to be political commentary but community engagement among colleagues during an experience that impacts us all, though likely differently. Sample messaging might be:
In anticipation of the emotional toll that the election might take on some of us, next Wednesday we are holding several discussion sessions. These discussion sessions are facilitated spaces for debriefing how we feel post-election. The purpose is not to celebrate a win or mourn a loss. It is instead purely a space to connect with others who may need and want to be in an emotionally supportive space. It acknowledges the significant toll that a polarized political environment has taken on all of us and intentionally gives us time to step away from work and just sit with our feelings.
Identify Co-Facilitators
It’s never a good idea to facilitate alone when you risk being triggered. Triggered means that something happens that you may elicit a response that is difficult to process in the moment. It is typically related to a long-held trauma. Especially in situations where there is a likelihood for strong opposing views or ways of communicating to be present, find a co-facilitator. Invite someone to co-facilitate with you who complements your style and energy. As a pair, you should bring balance to each other.
Share Ground Rules
Ground Rules, or Community Guidelines, set explicit expectations about appropriate and acceptable ways to engage during a facilitated discussion. Even in groups that have been meeting for years, establishing ground rules for how communication and participation are expected in this space is a must. The kind of conversation that you are creating space for on November 6 is likely different from other meetings or ways in which the group engages.
Sample Ground Rules:
Participate in Your Own Way. Everyone is encouraged to engage in the way that feels most comfortable. For some, this may mean actively sharing, while for others, it could involve listening and observing. All forms of engagement are valuable to the discussion.
Take Space, Make Space. Contribute your thoughts and experiences—we value hearing your voice. Also, be mindful of the space you’re taking; create room for others to contribute by inviting their input or stepping back when appropriate.
Practice Empathy. Be open to perspectives that may differ from your own. Rather than reacting immediately, consider where the other person might be coming from and reflect on how their experience shapes their views.
Listen to Understand, Not to Respond. Focus on truly understanding the speaker’s message without formulating your response. Give your full attention and allow their words to resonate before thinking about how to reply.
Balance Advocacy with Inquiry. While it’s natural to have strong convictions, pair your advocacy with curiosity. Seek to understand others’ experiences and perspectives with open-ended questions before persuading others of your viewpoint.
Speak from Personal Experience. Use “I” statements to ensure the conversation is grounded in personal experience. Avoid generalizations or anecdotes involving others who aren’t in the room, to keep the dialogue authentic and relevant.
Avoid Blaming or Shaming. Remember, we’re all colleagues here. It’s okay to express a different opinion, but avoid attributing blame or assigning fault to individuals or groups, especially for experiences outside of their control.
It may be helpful to send ground rules along with an invitation to the meeting so that people have a clear sense of expectations before deciding whether to join the conversation. At the beginning of the session, introduce the ground rules. Ask the group if they have anything to add. Also, ask if everyone agrees to them. Request at least a nonverbal nodding of the head by everyone to ensure full buy-in before the meeting begins. Though these simple steps may not seem necessary, they are critical for accountability. This intentional review and request for agreement creates acknowledgment about behavior that could be the difference maker in the quality of your conversation.
During the session, keep the ground rules posted for easy visual reference. If someone breaches one of the ground rules, gently but directly refer to the ground rule and redirect the behavior.
Per our ground rule, I’ll ask you to hold your comment, Tom, until after Lisa has completed her thought. You will then be next to contribute.
or
Tina, I am going to ask you to refrain from making political comments. I know it’s not easy given the experience we’ve all just gone through. But please try to share from a place of personal emotions or needs, rather than political opinions.
Model the Way
After welcoming people to the space and restating the intentions and ground rules, you will need to set the tone for the discussion. One way to do this is to offer some of your own words, using your words carefully because they will be the model for following sentiments.
I am happy to begin our discussion with some thoughts about my own feelings and invite others to reflect on your own and share. For me, I am exhausted. The outcome aside, this highly politicized environment has taken a toll on me. Being in this space with others is a bit of reprieve from the constant media inbounds. I appreciate having a workplace that invites us to just be together, taking a bit of needed time for personal reflection and community connection.
Another option:
Pre-meeting: invite a colleague to be the person who will share first and set the tone. If you are the facilitator, inviting someone who is a participant to be the first to speak is an inclusive gesture. However, identifying this person in advance and talking with them about the tone that you are asking them to help set is important. Once a negative or polarizing sent
Share Gratitude
Before and after the conversation, share words of gratitude with people who decided to contribute positively and aligned with the intention of the space. It is important to recognize behaviors that model your organization’s values. The next time a difficult conversation is needed, people will be better equipped to contribute because they have practiced and received affirming feedback.
Take Care of Yourself
As you think about November 6, the day after a major political event, remember to take your own potential feelings into consideration. Especially for those who are in caregiver roles—people managers, HR, and EDI leaders, for example, sometimes you are so focused on preparing to be helpful to others that you forget about your own needs. Just like on a plane, put your own life mask on first. Some ideas for taking care of yourself may include:
- Set aside time this week to connect with a few others in your organization to plan for next week’s conversations. Planning in advance takes the pressure off you to do the planning real time when your own emotional energy may be limited.
- Take time during the weekend to imagine various outcomes of the election. How will you feel with each outcome?
- Identify a person that is not in a working relationship with you and with whom you can candidly process your feelings immediately post-election. The same candid debrief will not be appropriate in a workplace setting, so find a place for it so that you can get it off your chest.
- Establish the times that you will be available for workplace conversations on November 6, then block off some time when you are unavailable, ideally before and after the facilitated conversations. It’s important to have time to reflect quietly and that you are being unavoidably pulled into space with others’ emotional energy.
Though it may be a bit daunting to imagine the array of needs that surface post-election, there is no question that needs will exist. Creating space for difficult conversations, particularly about something so political as an election, without getting into political polarization in our workplace is a tall order. But this is our new work—creating space, listening, caring, helping, facilitating. This is our new world of work. Our colleagues expect more of us, and we can learn and practice new skills. Our healthy organizational cultures depend on us, our proactive communication that models our values.
To learn more skills for navigating the new world of work, visit DeEttaJones.com for a list of courses, including Facilitation Skills Institute, which equips anyone committed to inclusive workplace culture with the ability to facilitate conversations exactly like those we hope to see on November 6.
As always, sending love.
DeEtta
