---
title: We are the Stories We Tell
description: "We are likely moving from one chapter to the next, to what will surely be a bit (or more) of an emotionally draining experience for all of us, regardless of the outcome. As with all times when we are preparing for a difficult experience, let’s remember this question: What about you? How can you show up as well as possible at this moment? How can your inclusive values guide you?"
image: https://blog.deettajones.com/hubfs/stories%20matter-1.jpg
---
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# We are the Stories We Tell
[leadership](https://blog.deettajones.com/tag/leadership), [organizational culture](https://blog.deettajones.com/tag/organizational-culture), [leadership communication](https://blog.deettajones.com/tag/leadership-communication), [Culture](https://blog.deettajones.com/tag/culture)
Photo by Suzy Hazelwood
I’ve been wrestling with a bit of depression lately. *A bit* is kind of a lie. And I’m not sure if depression is exactly right either. What do you call exhaustion, fear, desperation, apathy, overwhelm and confusion all mixed together? Whatever that is, that’s what I’ve been feeling. It’s tricky to say the least. Oh yea, and menopause and being a mom to a teenage boy. As I type these words I want to either cry or laugh (but not the good kind of laugh.
# 
The weight of struggle is real. It’s nearly impossible to be productive from this space. Fortunately, I have people around me who are beacons of light.
**Finding Light in Unexpected Places**Ralph, my office mate, is a finance guy who couldn’t be more different from me. He sits on zoom calls all day talking through financial forecasts. When I walk to our shared kitchen I see graphs and charts on his monitor that make my eyes blur. A couple of times a day we find a few minutes to chat, always initiated by him. This quiet guy who seems almost shy, asks about my son, shares his opinions about the state of the world, and explores my thinking. I feel so comforted by just knowing that this person I would never recognize as such on the street is actually a huge ally.
**The Strength of Community**
My colleagues are steady, ready and willing. Changes in the political and economic environment have a huge impact on our work and their day to day realities. Yet, every day I can bet on Ali showing up on a zoom call, walking on her treadmill and with a macha in hand, fully focused on what needs to be done today, willing and able to adjust to an ever changing reality. Other members of our team are the same, one foot in front of the next, helpful can-do attitudes leading the way.
**Shared Wisdom, Collective Growth**At our recent facilitator team meeting each person shared updates from their neck of the woods. Everyone lives in different states and many have institutional affiliations beyond DJA, so the perspective sharing is always helpful. Some folks were looking for more opportunities to lead within their various communities, others more vacation time. Katrina had recently returned to the US from Australia, her home of origin and where she is the co-founder of an MBA program for Indigenous Peoples. She spoke from her tradition about the importance of calling on our ancestors, especially when we seek wisdom. *“They have been where we are. They have strategies for doing hard things. We have to enlist their guidance, and slow down to listen.” *
### Shifting the Narrative
The way that I opened this blog and the next three paragraphs are examples of stories. As I wrote the opening paragraph my body and heart felt heavy, constricted, sad, depleted. The simple act of writing, and pausing to think of just the right words to describe the people and my appreciation for them in the next three paragraphs shifted me. Washing through me is a wave of gratitude, I literally have a smile on my face right now.
Through sharing my stories with you, I model how to move from a place of despair to a place of gratitude, love and resilience. My technique is to be vulnerable, sharing honestly about my own limited thinking and beliefs, and then calling upon the deeper part of me that is resilient–to share it here with you.
Modeling this level of vulnerability is not always comfortable, but it’s what I signed up for. And so did you, if you are a leader of any kind–formal or informal, work, school, family or social setting, we all have a role to play in the stories we tell, experience, and then contribute to with the people we care about.
Modeling does not just benefit others, it transforms the person performing the act. Writing this blog, with the intent of modeling, forces me to remember my why–my purpose beyond the current experience I am having. Beyond the noise. Our whys are powerful, important, and easy to lose sight of when we are being jostled about by forces that feel outside of our control.
**Remember your why and anchor to it. **
We are resilient. We are able to do hard things. We do not have to agree to only do hard things–Lord knows once people believe us to be strong they keep giving us the hard things to do. But we must be willing to do hard things when everything is on the line. Like now.
What is the story we are telling ourselves right now? How do we populate our story with a cast that moves us from us being alone to figure it all out by ourselves–like Tom Hanks in Castaway–to a fulsome array of characters who are all co-conspiring with us in pursuit of the same happily ever after? **We can shape our shared narrative.** Let’s select our cast carefully, identify the role we want to play, and make ours a story of hope, unity, and unwavering strength.
---
## Explore Our Programs & Calendar
[Whether you’re a manager looking for in-depth skill development, a leader wanting tools to navigate change, or an individual contributor needing structure and support for bringing well-being into focus, our learning & development programs are for you!](https://www.deettajones.com/inclusive-managers-toolkit-2025)
Facilitation Skills Institute (FSI) Apr 7 - Apr 25
[.png?width=720&height=150&name=Virtual%20Facilitation%20Skills%20Institute%20(FSI).png)](https://www.deettajones.com/facilitation-skills-institute)
This course provides the inclusive facilitation practices necessary to build a positive work culture, increase effective communication, boost employee engagement, enhance group problem-solving skills, and elevate team cohesion. This train-the-trainer experience provides participants with ample opportunities to practice preparing for and engaging in challenging discussions with both your peers and experienced facilitators. You'll be part of a cohort of like-minded colleagues who share your values and expectations for facilitation. As you progress through the program, you'll notice a significant boost in your confidence as a facilitator of a vast array of common, at-times challenging, workplace discussions
Claiming Our Agency May 7 - May 8
This two-day in-person workshop is designed for leaders and managers committed to shaping a new reality within their organizations—one that centers care for people, organizational culture, and the pursuit of meaningful shared goals.
Library Management Skills Institute 1: The Manager (LMSI 1) Jul 7 - Jul 21
[%20(2).png?width=720&height=150&name=Virtual%20Facilitation%20Skills%20Institute%20(FSI)%20(2).png)](https://www.deettajones.com/library-management-skills-institute-1-the-manager)
The *Library Management Skills Institute 1: The Manager* (LMSI 1) is the seminal management development experience across the library community. Its design reflects a solid foundation of tried-and-true management principles and guided by best practices in libraries and seamlessly infuses diverse voices and modern theory.
Inclusive Manager’s Toolkit™ (IMT) Sep 1 - Nov 2
[%20v.png?width=720&height=150&name=Inclusive%20Manager%E2%80%99s%20ToolkitTM%20(IMT)%20v.png)](https://www.deettajones.com/inclusive-managers-toolkit-2025)
The *Inclusive Manager’s Toolkit™* is an immersive development experience for managers and leaders, focusing on the most practical and relevant needs of today’s world of work. The comprehensive design focuses on the 3 primary areas of managerial practice:* You as Manager*, *Managing Team*, and *Organization-wide Impact*. Each module equips participants with new skills, practical tools for immediate use, and expert coaches to support knowledge transfer and impact.
Library Management Skills Institute (LMSI) 1: The Manager Sep 2 - Sep 4
%201_%20The%20Manager%20IP.png?width=720&height=150&name=Library%20Management%20Skills%20Institute%20(LMSI)%201_%20The%20Manager%20IP.png)
Library Management Skills Institute 1: The Manager is our most requested institute. This 2.5-day workshop is considered the seminal management professional development experience across the library community. It was designed over 40 years ago on a solid foundation of tried-and-true management principles and guided by best practices in libraries. The content and practical application are presented and explored in a library context that reflects the specific audience—academic, public, or special libraries.
Claiming Our Agency Sep 10 - Sep 11
This two-day in-person workshop is designed for leaders and managers committed to shaping a new reality within their organizations—one that centers care for people, organizational culture, and the pursuit of meaningful shared goals.
Inclusive Manager’s Toolkit (IMT) Alumni Session Oct 1 - Oct 2
%20Alumni%20Session%20IP.png?width=720&height=150&name=Inclusive%20Manager%E2%80%99s%20Toolkit%20(IMT)%20Alumni%20Session%20IP.png)
The Inclusive Manager’s Toolkit™ (IMT) Alumni Session is the continuation of your journey to develop and share the practices that will transform your workplace relationships and impact. Having completed the IMT, this training will help you continue to develop the skills and confidence to excel in your current and future leadership roles.
Facilitation Skills Institute (FSI) Oct 8 - Oct 9
%20IP.png?width=720&height=150&name=Facilitation%20Skills%20Institute%20(FSI)%20IP.png)
This two-day workshop equips you with practical skills to lead effective conversations and build a positive work culture. Through interactive sessions with peers and experienced facilitators, you’ll learn techniques to boost communication, foster employee engagement, and enhance group problem-solving. By the end of the workshop, you’ll feel more confident in your facilitation abilities, and be equipped to guide teams through challenging workplace discussions.
Facilitation Skills Institute (FSI) - Nov 5 - Nov 6
%20IP2.png?width=720&height=150&name=Facilitation%20Skills%20Institute%20(FSI)%20IP2.png)
This two-day workshop equips you with practical skills to lead effective conversations and build a positive work culture. Through interactive sessions with peers and experienced facilitators, you’ll learn techniques to boost communication, foster employee engagement, and enhance group problem-solving. By the end of the workshop, you’ll feel more confident in your facilitation abilities, and be equipped to guide teams through challenging workplace discussions.
Library Management Skills Institute 2: The Organization (LMSI 2) - Dec 1 - Dec 19
[%20dec.png?width=720&height=150&name=Library%20Management%20Skills%20Institute%202_%20The%20Organization%20(LMSI%202%20)%20dec.png)](https://www.deettajones.com/library-management-skills-institute-2)
The *Library Management Skills Institute 2: The Organization* uses Peter Senge’s renowned Learning Organization as the organizing framework. Participants are introduced to each of the five disciplines within the context of libraries. The content and practical application are presented and explored in a library context.
Inclusive Manager’s Toolkit (IMT) Alumni Session Dec 4 - Dec 5
%20Alumni%20Session%20IP%20dec.png?width=720&height=150&name=Inclusive%20Manager%E2%80%99s%20Toolkit%20(IMT)%20Alumni%20Session%20IP%20dec.png)
The Inclusive Manager’s Toolkit™ (IMT) Alumni Session is the continuation of your journey to develop and share the practices that will transform your workplace relationships and impact. Having completed the IMT, this training will help you continue to develop the skills and confidence to excel in your current and future leadership roles.
Library Management Skills Institute (LMSI) 1: The Manager Dec 10 - Dec 11
%201_%20The%20Manager%20IP%20dec.png?width=720&height=150&name=Library%20Management%20Skills%20Institute%20(LMSI)%201_%20The%20Manager%20IP%20dec.png)
Library Management Skills Institute 1: The Manager is our most requested institute. This 2.5-day workshop is considered the seminal management professional development experience across the library community. It was designed over 40 years ago on a solid foundation of tried-and-true management principles and guided by best practices in libraries. The content and practical application are presented and explored in a library context that reflects the specific audience—academic, public, or special libraries.
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DeEtta Jones & Associates (DJA) guides leaders and organizations on a journey that builds capacity, strengthens innovation, and increases organizational performance by creating a more equitable, diverse, and inclusive environment.
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Recent Posts
[The Difference Between Information and Orientation](https://blog.deettajones.com/the-difference-between-information-and-orientation)
[Why Employees Experience Managers More Than Organizations](https://blog.deettajones.com/why-employees-experience-managers-more-than-organizations)
[Through the Challenging Parts of Your Journey](https://blog.deettajones.com/through-the-challenging-parts-of-your-journey)
[What Happens When the Work Outgrows the Organization?](https://blog.deettajones.com/what-happens-when-the-work-outgrows-the-organization)
[Kind and Firm Management](https://blog.deettajones.com/kind-and-firm-management)
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