The Work that Still Matters: On Fear, Leadership, and the Quiet Discipline of Love

Photo by Anna Tarazevich

Hatred can’t win.

I know it exists in the world. We see it. We feel it. We live alongside it.
But I refuse to believe that it is more powerful than love.

It is scarier, though.

And that’s what so many people are feeling right now: fear.

Fear in the face of religious attacks.
Fear amid cultural division.
Fear as historical facts are erased.
Fear as policies once framed as incremental steps along a long arc of progress are reversed—progress not just for some people, but for humanity as it has always sought it.

I try to keep perspective. I remind myself that my mother grew up during a time of constant air-raid drills, preparing for the possibility of World War III. Humanity has always lived with threat. Always lived with uncertainty.

But perspective alone doesn’t soften what so many are carrying right now.

People feel overwhelmed.
Discouraged.
Hated.
Misunderstood.
Voiceless.
Or—just as dangerous—apathetic.

And no, I’m not interested in throwing consultant “spin” at this. No reframing. No manifesting. No “wait and see.” Those are often just polite ways of saying, I don’t know what to do, but this sounds nicer than what we’re experiencing.

We know better.

So in the spirit of practicality—true to my nature—here’s my honest attempt to be helpful.

Start With Your Own Heart

Spend some time exploring your own heart.
You already know what’s there.

If it’s fear, face it.

Don’t let that monster destroy more than it already has. And don’t let it destroy you, either.

Fear is what so many of us—myself included—are actually calibrating to right now. We don’t always admit it. Fear of losing our jobs. Fear of losing status. Fear of losing credibility. Fear of failing those who count on us—our colleagues, our communities, the people who look to us as allies.

Sometimes it’s just ego.

No judgment. That’s human.

But here’s the truth: if you don’t face it—honestly—it will damage far more than you are willing to risk.

I’ve watched it happen. I’ve seen leaders who positioned themselves on moral or competency-based high horses go down in flames. Some are still technically in their roles, but everyone around them knows.

Fear always shows itself eventually.

Fear and hate are part of the same monster.

Love Is Different

Love, on the other hand, is simpler than that.

It doesn’t require naming.
It doesn’t demand recognition.
It doesn’t need applause.

Love is often quiet. Pure. Shown in the smallest acts.

It’s like Pilates—it works the muscles between the muscles. The inner structures. The parts that don’t look impressive on the surface but are the foundation of real strength and stability.

Love doesn’t announce itself.
It demonstrates itself.

The Leadership Question of This Season

So here’s the leadership question I’m sitting with this holiday season—and I invite you to sit with it too:

Where does love actually live in your life?

Not theoretically. Not aspirationally. Truthfully.

And how does it show up—honestly?

If you made a list of all the people you love in this world, would the people you work with be on it?

What about the people who help care for your aging parents?
Your children?
Your home?
Your neighborhood?

What would it look like to expand when and how love shows up—not in grand gestures, but in the smallest, quietest, most egoless ways?

And how might those small demonstrations quietly shift the overall presence of love in your life?

Hatred is loud.
Fear is contagious.

But love—practiced daily, quietly, without performance—builds something deeper.

And that’s the kind of strength I’m choosing to invest in now.